After the Fury Dies
by Laura Castellano

First posted 1 Nov 2006

Matt/Emily

Disclaimer:  These characters don't belong to me, and I 
don't get paid for this stuff. I just do it for the love of 
the show.

Summary:  Matt and Emily have it out after the events of 
"Life Support."

*****



"Matt, snap out of it."

He looked up at his partner, a bit startled at her 
bluntness.  She didn't usually confront him with a problem 
head-on until she'd given it a few minutes of verbal ballet. 

"Snap out of what?" 

"Oh, cut the crap.  You've been in a funk for days."

"Yeah?"  The challenge in his voice was unmistakable.

"Yeah.  And it's really beginning to wear on me."  

Matt didn't respond to that.  Instead, he grabbed his mug 
and headed for the coffee pot.  Emily cut him off by neatly 
stepping in front of him.

"Don't just walk away from me like that!" she said, putting 
out her hands as if to physically stop him.  "Don't just 
pretend nothing's wrong!"

Matt sighed.  "Emily, the only things wrong are it's seven 
in the morning, I don't have any coffee, and you're yelling 
at me.  I can change two out of three in the next few 
seconds if you'll cooperate."

Realizing this tactic was her moving further away from her 
objective, Emily took a deep breath while her partner filled 
his cup.  When he returned to his desk, she was waiting 
there, silently.  Waiting for him to make the first move.

"What?" he grumped as he slid into his chair.  "Oh, I get 
it.  You're gonna give me the death glare."

The office was nearly empty this early in the morning, so 
Emily pulled a chair up next to Matt, so close their legs 
touched...so close he couldn't escape.

"I'm not trying to upset you," she began.  "I'm worried--"

He rolled his eyes slightly.  "Oh, you're worried--"

"Yes."  Her no-nonsense tone finally got his attention.  "I 
was worried about you from the beginning of the job.  You 
were--you weren't yourself."

Matt tried to turn his head away, and Emily gently turned 
him back to face her.  "You know, I have never seen you talk 
to an HT like that.  Even when you were furious with one, 
even when you were so angry you wanted to spit, I've never 
seen you rip on a person whose hostages we hope to save."

He shrugged slightly, studying the coffee in his mug.

"And when I saw you do that, when I saw you talking to that 
scared kid as if all you wanted was to kick his ass--"

"That *was* what I wanted to do.  Couldn't you tell?"

"Of course I could tell!  I just couldn't figure out why.  
And then, when I heard you telling him about your mother--"

"Lia should never have patched you into that conversation--"

"Don't be ridiculous.  It's a good thing she did.  If I 
hadn't heard what I did, I might have been asking for a new 
partner the next day."

Matt's head shot up and he met her eyes at last.  
"Seriously?"

Emily gave a half-smile.  "Well, possibly.  I was pretty 
pissed off at you, until I realized the one I should really 
be pissed off with was myself."

"Oh?  And what did *you* do wrong?"

"I let you get away with it."

Matt raised his eyebrows, but said nothing, blowing on his 
coffee to cool it.  He waited.  He knew Emily, and there was 
no way she'd drop a bomb like that and not explain.  It 
would be impossible for her.

"I should have stopped you when you first started freaking 
out."

"I wasn't freaking out until--"

"Yes you were!  Do you remember calling the HT a stupid kid, 
over and over again?"

"He was a stupid kid."

"Yeah, but that's not your job.  Not at that moment.  Your 
job is to get in there and find a way to connect with the 
stupid kid so you can get him to do something smarter than 
what he's doing at the moment.  You can't do that by 
insulting the person with the innocent people at his mercy."

She thought he was going to argue, but in a moment, Matt 
just putt his head down on the desk.  "You're right," she 
heard him say through the muffling effect of his arms.

Emily put a comforting hand on his shoulder, and when he 
made noises of pleasure, treated him to an abbreviated but 
wonderful shoulder massage.  

"I should have told you right from the beginning," he 
admitted, his eyes closed in ecstasy as her fingers worked 
his tense muscles.  "As soon as we got called to a hospital 
situation, I knew it might go badly for me.  I should have 
let you be primary."

"I should have insisted on it."

"Part of me thought I could reach the guy, you know?  
Thought I could somehow understand, because I'd lost 
someone, too.  I thought I could put myself in his shoes."  
Matt shook his head ruefully.  "I couldn't even get a toe in 
there."

"But you tried, Matt.  And when I saw it was impairing your 
work, I should have pulled you out, made you switch roles 
with me."

"Why didn't you?"

It was Emily's turn to pause, and when she finally spoke, 
she kept her eyes trained on his hands, avoiding his gaze.

"I was afraid."

"Of what?"

"You know..."

"No, I really don't."

"That night, when we talked about how we keep secrets from 
each other to protect ourselves?  Well I was thinking this 
was probably one of those secrets.  And I didn't want to 
force you into a position of having to reveal something 
personal to me..."

"And then feel differently about you the next day," he 
guessed.  

"I gave you every opportunity to stand down, but I'm not 
sure they were clear opportunities.  I think I might have 
muddled things up in trying not to say anything that would 
hurt you."

"And in the process of blindly missing those opportunities, 
I damn near got a man killed."

"But you didn't.  The Judge is going to be fine.  And what's 
more important, you finally connected with M.J.  He got to 
spend the last few hours with his sister because of you, 
Matt."

He shrugged.  "Yeah, but..."

"So it wasn't the perfect ending to a perfect day.  It could 
have been a lot worse, right?"

"Definitely could have been worse."

"I'm sorry about your mother."

Matt gave a slight nod of acknowledgment, then looked her 
straight on.  "Hopefully there will never be a next time, 
but just in case there is a next time, and you see it 
coming..."

"Yeah?"

"I want you to kick my ass back on track.  Do you think you 
could do that for me?"

She grinned. "I think I could manage it.  And for right 
now..."  Emily glanced up to make sure they were alone, and 
then kissed Matt quickly on the forehead.  "For luck," she 
told him.

"Luck?"

"Yeah.  You're gonna need it.  Cheryl wants to see us in 
five minutes.  I have a feeling she's not going to give you 
a back rub and a kiss."

Matt groaned as she pulled him up out of his chair.  "Come 
on, face it like a man."

"Yeah, easy for you to say.  You have no idea how fast 
Cheryl can emasculate a person."

"Well, if you come through it like a big boy, there could be 
a reward for you later," she smirked.

"What kind of reward?" he asked, interested in the signals 
her eyes were sending.

Her answer was cut off as Cheryl stepped out of her office 
and called to them.  Matt put on his game face as he 
entered, but the look on Emily's face promised him much.

He knew anything Cheryl said to him was going to be worth it 
in the aftermath.

The end.